You're running free....

Cause you're coming home You're running free As only you would be if you never owed them anything And now you found you're way out In the trust you've seen your path on home

Obviously, music is important to me, with the amount of times I have posted lyrics in my blog to explain how I feel.

I am listening to and following the requests of my heart. I am doing what God tells me to do, even if I am afraid. I am going to Washington, D.C. Capitol Hill.

I still find myself asking what God wants of me. Today was a big day for me. This week was a big week for me. Let's begin with my birthday. Good morning sunshine. At 10:30 a.m. I get awakened to the nervous chatter of my roommate. We have received a 3-day eviction notice. The times have been tough for the economy, and I am not stranger to that. I got a little behind on rent, and it wasn't until that day that reality sunk in. I feared for everything I had and everything I had accomplished and all the things I planned on accomplishing. I get up and begin to panic. Evicted? Happy effing birthday.

I begin to call around. Friends, family, strangers even. Heck. I needed help. My friend Liz tells me to calm me down she is going to take mt to Dairy Queen for ice cream, which kind of pisses me off. I don't want ice cream. She takes me there, and I see my friend Nate's van, and get annoyed, but think nothing of it.I am an emotional wreck on this day. I walk in and head straight for the counter. Liz grabs me and says, "Where the heck do you think you're going?" Ummm.... am I in DQ??? She turns me around towards a table where all my friends are with a cake and orange soda. (Keep in mind my complete and utter adoration for the orange soda). They had thrown together a surprise party without me knowing. With how frustrating the day had been, I hadn't even really thought about the fact that it was my birthday. Above is the picture, me caught of guard looking oh-so attractive. Yes, sarcasm.

They hand me cards for my birthday, and when I open the first one out falls $100. I began to cry, right there in the middle of Dairy Queen. The second envelope is stuffed, and I open it to find $220. Here are my friends, amazing people who came together to help out someone they love in a time of need. I sobbed uncontrollably at that table, and for someone who hates so much to cry in public, to lose control, it felt so good and so right. Afterwards, two pastors from my church come over to talk about the struggles my roommate and I have been facing, and then continue on to write a check to cover the rest of the rent. Who are these people, and why has God blessed me to put them in my life?! God has been telling me to just rely on Him, and that He will provide. Sure enough, there is my God, showing me all He is got.

The rest of the day was splendid, and Tuesday was fairly good as well. But, today was the big day for me. This morning, after only 4 hours of sleep, I wake up to go over to Rachel's apartment (whose name I apparently say funny?) to watch "Everything is Spiritual" by Rob Bell. Good man, great talker. I can't really sum of what was said, besides Yep, which only those of you that have seen it can thoroughly understand and enjoy the aforementioned statement. So, it is safe to say that my heart was very overwhelmed. One thing I suggest, when you're heart is overwhelmed, don't play Settlers of Catan. Every sucky move/play stabs you in the gut, for no apparent reason. I got numerous soul pains when playing today.

So, after an epicly bad game of Settlers that Andrew completely owned us at, Liz and I decide we are going to do Andrew's hair. See, Andrew recently got his hair dreaded, and since it is in the new stages, he must maintain the nasty, grungy, messiness of it for it to reach its maximum dread potential. He taught Liz and I how to take care of it, and we find the back combing, ratting, twisting, and gelling very calming. So, as we are doing his hair, we watch the Invisible Children 'How it Ends' video, about the lobby days in the capitol of the United States. I watch as these young children carry these guns, as they shoot innocent people and become molded into monsters from the innocent youth they once were. My heart breaks as I think about these abducted children, captive to become something they never probably imagined in a million year they would be.

Liz and I finish up the dreads, and head off on our own. We watch the entire Invisible Children movie, which is probably the 3rd or 4th time I have seen it. Nonetheless, it breaks my heart every time. To see these kids that have been mutilated, abducted, taken from their families. I remember the one part that kills me the most is when the kid says he would rather be dead than continue to live in the place that he does. "How can our future be?" he says.

23 years. This war has raged for 23 years. When did I first hear about this? A couple months ago. How can we have been so ignorant to the longest running war in Africa? Why do we Americans stick our nose in the air the moment someone needs help? What makes us so superior to the rest of the world? How can we have gone so long without helping out at all? We haven't tried to step in and make peace, we haven't tried to capture Joseph Kony. And why? Because it doesn't affect us. As long as we aren't getting hurt there can be all the genocide in the world. It is some bullcrap, and we finally have a chance to say something about it.

As my heart was breaking today I felt Him whisper, "What are you going to do about it?" I feel like God challenged me. I know we always pray for certain things, and I repeatedly find myself saying break my heart for what breaks yours, Lord. I feel like now he is showing me what it means to have my heart break for someone else. To not be so completely selfish and think about me all the time. Yeah, I almost got the boot, but did I have a gun pushed to my head and was I forced to be a soldier against my own will? No. But there are kids in the world who were.

This is the first time I felt like I wasn't completely insignificant. I feel like God is telling me, "Do something."


So, here I am. I am going to Washington, D.C. for lobby days. I am selling my futon, which is what I sleep on, so that I can get there. I don't care. God tells me this is what I must do, so here I am doing it.


This is a big leap of faith for me. I felt so encouraged today by the story in Hosea about God telling him to marry a prostitute, and then take her back both times she left him. Or when God told Rebecca to marry Isaac, a man she had never even met before. Or Abraham, who was going to kill his only son, because God said so. So, what? It costs money that I don't necessarily have. But whenever I think about that, I hear God again saying, "What are you going to do about it?"

Peace, Love, and Chimichangas,
Candace