Over these past weeks, my mind has been continually racing with the most absurd thoughts, and I have been thrown into what most people would refer to as the "real world". It is time for me to grow up and become an adult, and it is scary as heck. I have spent a lot of time in thought, always feeling so drained, whether it be emotionally or physically or both. I have been thinking a lot about Alex, my boyfriend.
This is him. He is wonderful, and strong, and amazing. I am not blogging to rant and rave like some infatuated teenage girl. He has just been on my mind a lot. I get to spend some time with him this summer, and that is very exciting. But, at the same time, I will be on a roller coaster of emotions during this summer. I so badly want to get my life together and figure my junk out. I have been so frustrated lately with my life, and I am trying hard to get it back together. Here I am wondering if I should go on meds to fight the PTSD or if I should just battle this demon on my own.
Also, I really miss my mother. Sincerely. I don't know if she will be reading my blogs, but I do miss her. You know, it is weird that we ignore most everything our parents tell us, angry because we want to live our life to our own accord. But, looking back, I realize how right her and Ricky were most of the time. I miss them, and my baby brother Brandon so much. I am going to have a breakdown soon, and I wonder which poor soul will be there to pick up the pieces.
Peace, Love, and Chimichangas,
Candace Maria
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